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2003-12-24 @ 9:31 p.m. i want to write about my sad drive home through the fog. and i want to write about helping my mother walk to her bed without falling over because she is so weak right now. and sitting on the edge of her bed as she tried to fall asleep. despite all the pain. and aside from the constant feeling of needing to vomit. consoling her because she felt so bad that she couldnt put on her annual christmas eve party. how the roles were so reversed that i thought i was going to cry right there in front of her. remembering how she used to sit with me until i fell asleep when i was young and sick, or scared of something. and i even want to write about how i was feeling as i drove up to our house tonight. and the way the lit up tinsel snowflake that we put in our living room window a few nights ago. it looked like the northern star as we drove up. my northern star. but im at a loss for words right now. and instead. ill say merry christmas to those who celebrate it. or happy sixth night of hanukkah for those who celebrate that. and for those who dont. have a wonderful day of rest. with love, |