2002-07-23 @ 12:08 a.m.

tonight i talked with friends.

tonight i spilled open.

and splattered everywhere.

im in pain. im hurting. im unhappy. im alone.

ive been keeping it in. except for writing bits and pieces and clues here and there. ive been so private. hoarding it all to myself. burying it all inside.

protecting the guilty. when ive been being betrayed all along.

ive been becoming more and more fragile by the minute.

im in pain. im hurting. im unhappy. im alone.

and im not alone anymore. and i was scared. but then they were asking questions. and they had sincerity in their eyes. and i looked at them and saw that. and i looked at them. and i saw my friends. and kindness came. and hugs came. and food came.

and they told me. p has that extra bedroom. and c has a futon. and s. he has a couple of couches. and i could have his bed. and he would sleep on the couch. if i ever needed a place to stay.

and i stopped hiding. and i spilled open.