2002-12-26 @ 11:58 p.m.

christmas was pretty quiet this year. you know. with the absence of the neice and nephew to slobber all over. due to that recent. um. incident. with my brother. and so. it was spent with one sick mom. and one ninety year old grandmother. which was fine by me. although the seven year old neice. and the chubby nineteen month old nephew. really were greatly missed.

it was relatively quiet. except for that part in the early afternoon. where i wound up really angry and sad and hurt. and yelled some. but mostly. just went upstairs and went back to bed. and pulled the covers over my head. and regrouped. before leaving for my mothers house for more presents and dinner.

and. even though. my mother had that terrible stressful appointment on christmas eve. a chemo consultation appointment. finding out that will start on january third. and that she will definitely lose her hair. and that she will have to be out of work longer than she thought. and she will be tired. and nauseous. more often than not. despite all that. she was still in really good spirits. cooking up pies and brownies and ham and a vegetarian lasagna. and being as cheery as humanly possible. and packing up leftovers. like moms do best. and just happy. you know. that we were there. and that we all got home safely. and in the middle of it all. when daniel left to drive my grandmother home. she saw through me. and i was able to talk to her about some pretty emotional thing that had too recently happened in my life. something i havent talked about with anyone. and she listened. and said a few kind words. and just listened some more.

i really think she might be superwoman now that i think about it.

i got the lens ive been asking for. and a fabulous sweater and scarf combination from my always tasteful mother. plus a lovely paris calendar from daniel. among other things. and good books from a very dear friend. and oh yes. a case of clementines from my grandmother. thanks gram. i have a love affair with clementines. and while i could easily go to the supermarket and buy them myself, i never do. and i love them.

oh. and im really rather excited about receiving the amelie soundtrack.

it started to snow around one or two in the afternoon. and before we knew it there was a few feet on the ground. and it took us almost two hours to make a drive that usually takes less than a half an hour. so that was fun. and not even remotely stressful. no.

but. missing the neice and nephew. and being sad that the mom is sick. and wishing my gram didnt cough so much. all that aside. it was generally happy. and my favorite part. i think. of the whole christmas holiday season extravaganza thing. was pulling into the driveway last night at 1030. and when i opened the door of the explorer, the snow was up to the door. and when i jumped out. it was up past my knees. and it was still snowing. those big fluffy light flakes. the best kind. and i packed snowballs and threw them up in the air. at no one. and the street was so quiet. except for the occasional snowmobile. making trips up and down the state road. and i flung out my arms. and just fell straight back. into three feet of snow. and thanked god for nights like this. and became a snow angel.