2002-02-26 @ 10:08 a.m.

i have no connection to daniel pearl. i had none. until i walked into work on saturday and found a plaque of him on the wall of the newsroom. with the picture that they keep showing. which was probably the picture on his press pass im guessing. a headshot. the tight lipped smile, wearing a green shirt with a tie with small flowers. and i stood and looked at it. up close. and i looked at his eyes through the glasses. and the tiny lines around his lips. because i had only seen small newsprint versions of it before. and i read his bio. he graduated from stanford. after graduation he headed east and worked at the newspaper i work for from 1986-87. and then proceeded the list of newspapers and agencies he worked for after. and then. killed by terrorists in pakistan, 2002. which stunned me. i mean. i was reading someones bio. anyones. and i was thinking 'what a success story, isnt this what we dream about?' and then. bam. killed by terrorists. pakistan. 2002. and i had almost forgotten.

and im not playing the i-knew-someone-who-knew-someone game. the one that people play when something tragic happens. and all of a sudden everyones connected to the tragedy somehow. all of a sudden its important. that a guy on your brothers little league team in third grade's ex girlfriends sister went to elementary school with daniel pearls cousins husband. i hate that. and i wont play those games. even though i know at least one person i work with who is playing it up. even though she didnt know him. which is so classic her that its making me sick. but thats beside the point. i didnt know daniel pearl. i was still in high school when he was reporting here. i didnt know him. but i know. that his death hits home here. more than the death of any other reporter who didnt have ties to this newspaper would have.

because i am on what was once his turf. and i am walking in the places he walked when he was here. and i know what this town was like fifteen years ago. and i wish i could invite him back. and show him around. and show him the museum. the one that he broke the story on. before the mayor could. and the mayor told him he would never speak to him again after that. but the next day, he did. and i wish i could invite him back. to see how much different it is now. and wouldnt he be happy. to know. that the mayor, whos inauguration (and wedding) he attended, is still in office. after all this time.

and i had no connection to daniel pearl. until i walked through the newsroom on saturday morning, over to where the daily papers are held. until i picked up saturdays paper. and on the front cover. was daniel pearl. smiling at the camera. in 1986. in our newsroom. and he was standing and smiling. exactly where i was standing. at that moment.

until i opened up to page A8, where the story continued. and there he was. in the parking lot of the paper. standing outside his truck. in the spot. the one right outside the publishers office windows. and another photo. of a group of the young reporters in 86/87 with their arms wrapped around each other. and i stared at that picture. thinking that if you changed the faces. it so easily could have been the group thats working there now. and i wondered. if it would be one of us. in sixteen years. that theyre profiling. that the mayor is remembering. that the plaque is of.

and as i drove around town this weekend. the mayor has ordered that flags be flown at half staff. and its a sad time. in my hometown.

i didnt know daniel pearl. but ive seen his face in my newsroom. and ive read his stories about my town. and my heart aches. for the loss.